Achieving Simplicity

Image by the trial

I started this blog with the intention of writing 5 days a week and using it as a way of getting my life in order and cataloging the things I learned along the way. Then life threw me for a loop (several actually) and I couldn’t find the motivation to get started again. There’s always been some excuse.

I spent 10 weeks on bedrest, followed by the delivery of a healthy, happy baby boy. Then we decided to move halfway across the country to be closer to our families, and now we have the stress that accompanies two mortgage payments, two new jobs and two kids to keep straddling the fine line between sanity and insanity.

The thought of sitting down to start writing again was like hitting a brick wall. The emotions ranged from fear (what if it’s not any good anyway?) to apathy (why bother?). These are the things have helped me overcome the inertia.

Tell yourself that you’re doing it for someone else.

Our recent move landed us in Southern California – a place with a high cost of living. We’re currently renting because buying a house is not possible in our current financial situation. I would love to be able to buy a house so that my boys have a permanent house to call a home. So I started asking myself questions like: what if starting to write again could help with the financial situation? What if I this blog did become successful? Maybe we could someday buy a house.

Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen.

Really, what is the worst that can happen? When it comes to writing this blog I might waste a little time. Really, that’s the worst that could happen when it comes to starting up this blog again. And in all honesty, I’m probably waste the time watching tv or with some other time drain.

Focus on the positive.

Maybe this blog will work out. Maybe. There’s no harm, for now, in pursuing this interest and seeing what happens. I enjoy writing; even if this blog never becomes a success story, I’ll have some fun in the meantime. Everyone deserves to have a hobby of some sort. However it turns out, I’m sure it will be a learning experience.

Brainstorm Ideas

Yesterday I sat down and came up with about twenty different ideas for blog topics. Afterwards I was feeling like I had enough quality ideas for the next couple of weeks. Thus, I didn’t feel like I was going to write one article and then be lost again. This has helped allay some of the fears about quitting again so soon.

Lower your standards.

Not every post is going to be perfect. Accept that fact and get started. Most people improve over time. Writing something is better than writing nothing. Raise your standards once you’re in motion.

Sit down with a blank spreadsheet.

Don’t open the browser window. Don’t check your email. Don’t do anything else. Boring, eh? Wouldn’t it be more interesting if you were typing? Write something; write anything. Maybe you’ll have to start over three times (or four like I did), but it’s something. Now you’re moving.

Photo by *Sally M*

Few days inspire more self reflection than New Year’s Day. It’s a day filled with wishes for the next year and flashing back on the past year to see what things went well (and those that failed miserably.) It’s a good time to take stock of everything outstanding in our lives and establish what areas could use some work.

This past year was the first year that neither my husband or I switched jobs, and we made it through a year without moving. In many ways it has been a year filled with a sense of stability and a time to catch our breath.

This next year is looking like it might shape up to be a bit more adventurous – a second child will be arriving in the next few weeks, a few career opportunities might play themselves out and then the general chaos that tends to surround us.

Of course, no New Year’s is complete without a list of goals for the year:

-Finish outstanding quilting projects (one for the baby, one for me)

-Pass one professional exam or go back to school

-Establish productive morning routine (after having the baby)

-Declutter

-Go through clothing and get rid of everything out of date and things that I will never wear again

-Post to this blog 5 times a week.

-Get back down to pre-pregnancy weight by June.

There are several other less quantifiable things that I would like to accomplish this year. I would like to work on my parenting skills. I’d like to be more present when I’m working on things and find ways to improve my productivity and focus. I’d like to take up some form of yoga. I’d like to start running on a regular basis.

I think it’s going to be a good year.

Decluttering

Photo by Basail

Until recently, I would proudly declare, whenever the subject came up, that clutter wasn’t a problem for me. It didn’t bother me. It made no difference to me whether the clothes were put away in the closet or strewn about the floor. I scoffed at people who hired professional organizers and laugh at anyone crazy enough to pay the ridiculous prices for California Closets (admittedly, I still do think their prices are outrageous for a product that is a relatively simple DIY project.)

For a while, my husband and I were paying someone to clean our house. Once a week we would come home to a nearly spotless home. Anything that had been laying around was put away and it did make a huge difference. There was a sense of calm walking into the house and knowing that it was clean and decluttered.

For financial reasons, we decided that we no longer wanted to pay a cleaning service to tidy up after us. That left my husband and I with a long list of cleaning chores every weekend, most of which never were accomplished.

I started getting up early and taking on one task every morning. Vacuuming was the only thing that was reserved for weekends because I didn’t want to wake up our toddler.

In the transition from being unbothered by clutter to a healthy appreciation of a clean and ordered house, I learned a few things along the way:

Don’t refuse to clean something up just because the mess isn’t your “fault”

I started off this way – leaving dirty dishes in the sink because they weren’t mind. However, I found that when I started cleaning up everything in the kitchen, my husband was much more likely to put his dishes away so as to not ruin the clean kitchen. Everyone won.

Start small.

Some mornings all that would get done is a cursory cleanup of our bathroom. Though I might have loftier goals, every little bit makes a difference and leaves less to do later.

Constantly be cleaning and decluttering.

One of my goals was that the kitchen and bathroom counters would be clutter-free. Anytime I walk through the kitchen or bathroom, I put away whatever is sitting out. Now, ideally, things wouldn’t have been left out in the first place, but this goes back to the first point – don’t assign blame, just clean it up.

Be ruthless when getting rid of things you don’t use or need.

I find this one to be especially hard when it comes to clothing. I’m scared to get rid of items that are the wrong size, because you just never know when you’ll put (or lose) a pound or two. Then there are the items with large sentimental values (the Hawaiian shirt I wore to my high school graduation is a prime example, especially considering I’ve sworn never to wear that awful shirt in public again) that tend to survive every attempt at purging.

I find that it’s easiest to get rid of things in one fell swoop. If I try to get rid of a few items at a time I may have too much time to reconsider. But try to find things a new home – Goodwill, craigslist, acquaintances that might find things to be of good use.

Remember the sense of calm that comes with declutter and cleaning.

Really, I never thought that I’d be one to say this, but having things put away really does make a huge difference in your mental state.

Photo by Trinity.

Today I removed the StumbleUpon toolbar from my computer. I shouldn’t even say that I removed it – I simply disabled it. Not that removal of a free firefox add-on is any more permanent than simply disabling it – but still I couldn’t bring myself to uninstall.

It’s the first step in an effort to remove time drains from my life.

I know, it seems like it’s not much of a step, but being that I was probably spending an hour (or more) a day clicking through random sites, it should actually free up quite a bit of time for better pursuits.

I’ve been frightened by the amount of times over the past two hours that I’ve found myself trying to click the stumble button that is no longer there.

Of course, there were some benefits to having the toolbar installed. I found some interesting sites that I might otherwise never have come across. Okay, that’s really the only benefit that comes to mind at the moment. I found that it fed my short attention span. Find something interesting? Bookmark it and come back later, then press the button and move on to something else.

I’m sure that it can be a powerful tool when used correctly or, at least, in moderation. It’s probably a great way to drive traffic to your site if enough of your readers use it and recommend you.

I, however, will be testing my willpower and seeing if I can leave it disabled and not look for a replacement way to mindless surf the web.

This whole thing has me thinking about how much time I could free up if I removed other sources of distraction from my life.

TV

I probably spend three hour a day watching tv. Granted, this is usually background noise to some other pursuit, but I’m sure most of these other pursuits could be finished more efficiently if tv was not involved. I do not need to be watching Simpsons reruns while playing with my son, writing emails or working.

I do think that background noise is justified for some pursuits – mainly when working on craft projects. Of course, once again, I could think of better background noise such as music or perhaps even conversations with friends.

Video Games

Are usually used as a treat after a long week at work, but sometimes (lately) they’ve been getting too much attention. I always think I’ll sit down to play for just a few minutes, but then I find that the hours have gone by and I have nothing to show for it. I can’t really justify this at all, except that everyone needs some down time, but there are many better ways to relax.

Online Poker

Perhaps this is just an extension of video games, being that it’s merely a recreational pursuit for me. But at some point I need to come to terms with the fact that I’m not very good. I doubt that I’d ever feel comfortable wagering large sums of money on this, thus would never really be able to make large profits.

Flickr

It’s so easy to get caught up looking through other people’s photos. Especially when you look at the most interesting photos… but it’s not productive in any manner. I used to be able to justify this when I was a wedding photographer, but now that I’m no longer actively pursuing that, Flickr has become one more drain on my time.

Those are the biggest drains on my time at the moment. I think I’ll whittle away at them one at a time.

Photo by michaelnewport

I think that my husband and I have a pretty clear idea of what we want out of life. We both would like to end up on the West Coast (when California house prices are in our price range). He wants to run his own business, which I think will end up being rather time intensive, and I would like to… and this is where I get lost.

Four years out of college, I’ve started a job that’s a career, though I’m not always sure that it’s a perfect fit. Our relationship is good, but we don’t have much time for each other, which sometimes is a point of contention. Our son, while seemingly a happy and well-adjusted kid, could use more attention and less tv.

In other words, there’s room for improvement. So here is the list of questions I try to answer whenever I’m trying to take stock of where I’m at compared to where I’d like to be.

Career

This is often the first thing that comes to mind when trying to assess my current life status. I’m not saying that this is the most important thing, but it is often the easiest to assess.

Am I happy with my job?
Is it a job or is it a career?
Where do I want this to go – where’s the room for advancement?
Do I want to advance?
Am I happy with the time vs the compensation?
Am I making too many sacrifices in other areas of my life to maintain this career?
If this is the right fit, what else would I rather be doing?

Relationships

Am I spending enough time with the people that I care about?
Am I giving my spouse and children the attention that they need and deserve?
Are there any issues that need to be discussed that may have been being avoided?
Do I have enough time for socializing with friends?
Am I remembering to be grateful for the people in my life?

Goals

Are my goals still relevant to me?
Have I made any progress lately on my list of goals?
If I want to make changes to the list, do I have a good reason?
Am I trying to complete too many things at one time – should my progress be more focused?

Like I said, these are just questions that I go through when trying to take stock of where I am at. This is no way a comprehensive list.