But add the start market decline and a rocky real estate market and 2008 was financial disastrous for us. Of course, we weathered the storm better than a lot of people and will hopefully recover in 2009 - if not fully, then we’ll at least be well on our way.

My husband pointed out that our conversations over the past couple of months have shifted from “will we ever be able to buy a house?” to “when will we be able to buy a house?”. It’s a much more optimistic conversation.

Tonight we went out and looked at the neighborhood that we would some day like to end up in. We also talked about what we were looking for and now we have a ballpark range to shoot for.

We made the goal much more concrete.

And in doing so, we’ve set our sights on something we can visual and measure progress against.

That’s not to say that the goal won’t every change, but it’s a good starting point, regardless of where we actually end up.

Steps to Making a Goal More Concrete

Visualize

Whether it’s running a marathon, finishing school or buying a house, a concrete picture of what you’d like the end result to be will help you stay focused. When you start to waver from your goals, return to the mental picture and remind yourself of your motivation.

Set a Timeline

I recommend setting up two timelines, a stretch goal and a realistic. Be willing to reevaluate at set points - however, don’t allow yourself to use excuses to push back your vision.

Have honest conversations with all involved

Sure, maybe you’re the one running the marathon, but if you think it doesn’t affect your family, you’re fooling yourself. If you want to buy a house in the suburbs and your spouse wants to live in a loft downtown, you’re setting yourself up for disaster. Talk specifics with the other people who will be affected by your new plan. If everyone isn’t on board, find out why and work to resolve the issues.

Having other people aware of your goal is a great way to make the goal more real. Accountability is key.

Measure

Decide how you’re going to measure your progress and then take the measurements at regular intervals. This will alert you to falling off course before you veer too far.

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Steer clear of distractions.

Simply by being alone in the office, there was a number of distractions that were avoided. This made me think about adjusting my workweek schedule a bit so that there was more time in the office when less people are there. An hour or two a day without distraction would make a huge difference in the amount of work accomplished.

Keep in mind that the time your using is your own

During the week it’s easy to fall victim to the idea that you have to be at work for so many hours, so there’s no reason to be more productive. On a Saturday, it’s much easier to keep in mind things that you’d rather be doing with your weekend - playing with the kids, watching football, taking care of things around the house. This line of thinking helped stopped rather wandering of the web.

Take breaks, but keep them to reasonable lengths.

It’s okay to spend a few minutes here or there reading a news article or making a phone call if you’re stuck a problem. Breaks are important. It’s when the length of time spent taking a break gets out of hand that they become a problem. I also found that with no one in the office I could do some stretching/yoga without worrying about appearing silly.

Remind yourself of why you like your work…

or at least how you came to be doing this sort of work. Without having to deal with clients or coworkers, there was less emotional stress involved in the work, and I was just able to enjoy the technical aspect of the job which I enjoy greatly.

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Though it may be a seemingly unpopular thing to say these days. I’ll admit it - I’m a fan of the New Year’s Resolution. It seems that I’ve read a lot of blogs lately about how New Year’s resolutions don’t work and how it’s silly because, really, New Year’s is just another day.

But I’m taking my stand. I’m all for making resolutions. I made a number of them for myself.

1. When given the option while eating out - go for a salad. I know not all salads are the healthiest options, but compared to what I normally order, it’s a step in the right direction.

2. Switch from soda to tea for my caffeine consumption. With my busy season at work, it’s silly to think that I could give up caffeine right now, but I can at least switch to healthier sources.

3. Get my professional certification. With my husband’s support on this one, it can be done by the end of the year.

4. Continue working on trying to be a better mother, wife and person. Hard to measure, but there it is as always.

So why not take a day and join everyone in reflecting on the past year, and looking to next year with ambition? The latest statistics say that by Valentine’s day 80 percent of people have given up on their resolutions but that’s not reason enough for me.

Of course, there is no comparison to the number of people that make goals the rest of the year. Maybe the percentage of people that stick to New Year’s resolutions is far greater than the percentage of people that make goals on June 25th or August 18th. I doubt there will ever be a study that calculates the number of people that fail on those other days.

Let’s all take the time and reflect; let’s try to make ourselves one of those that stay on course and make some positive changes in our lives.

And let’s focus on the positive. This year, let’s be proud of the 20 percent that stick to their goals (at least for six weeks). And let’s remember that all statistics lie.

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When do you need this by?

I’ve been shocked by the number of times this simple bit of information is omitted in conversations. This has led to many late nights working on projects that I assumed were urgent and turned out to not be. Of course, there have also been times when I figured that the project was not as urgent as my supervisor thought it was.

Who is the project being prepared for?

I work in an information industry. When asked for data, it’s not always clear who the end user will be. While the output of any project should be professional, different notes or layouts might be required for different users. Don’t assume that it’s your boss that is the only one that’s going to be looking at your product.

How is it going to be used?

The obvious example here is an internal versus external report. Every company has things they would rather not have published for the world to see and misunderstand. This is closely related to whom the project is being prepared for. Formality is another key factor here. If your boss wants a single number, there’s no point spending an hour putting together a pretty spreadsheet; if the number is going to be presented to the board of directors, a little formatting would be appreciated.

Has this been done before? If so, by who?

Most programmers have an appreciation for the futility of recreating the wheel; in the business world, I’ve been amazed at the number of times people start over from scratch on a process that has done by someone else in another department or by a predecessor. If it’s been done before, ask for documentation, if it exists.

Is this something that you’re going to be requesting on a regular basis?

Of course, it’s always good to finish a project expediently, but if you know that you’ll be doing the same thing every month or every week, then it’s always good to be looking for ways to be more efficient. On the other hand, if it’s really just a one time request, then it doesn’t make sense to spend hours automating the request.

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1. Find something easy on your to do list and get it done.

Give yourself a sense of accomplishment. This also has the added benefit of briefly changing your focus. Nothing that can be accomplished that quickly on your to do list? Then get started on something. Maybe you can’t write an entire paper in 30 seconds, but you can come up with a great title, topic or opening line.

2. Compliment someone.

Nothing changes a negative attitude as quickly as trying to make someone else smile. The key here is to be sincere. Compliment someone’s hard work, sense of style or thoughtfulness. No one around but yourself? Send an email, text or pick up the phone. This is the age of technology - run with it.

3. Make a phone call you’ve been avoiding.

Don’t limit yourself to the phone. Email is another option. Of course, this may take longer than thirty seconds, but make the commitment that once the phone starts ringing, you won’t hang up. Then, within thirty seconds, you’ve commited to getting something unpleasent done, and trust me, afterwards you’ll feel better. And it’s not going to get any easier the longer you avoid it.

4. Tell a good joke. Or come up with a clever facebook status. Or wave to a small child.

This goes along with the compliment idea. Take the focus off of yourself for a while and try to change someone else’s attitude. A little change of focus goes a long way.

5. Take 5 good, deep breaths.

Bad attitudes are often accompanied by a lot of muscle tension. Deep breaths give you a chance to pause and release the tension that is building. Thirty seconds of relaxation can go a long way.

6. Ask yourself what the goal of your current activity is.

If the bad attitude is caused by your current activity, ask yourself why you started doing this in the first place and what you hope to accomplish. Maybe you’re not thrilled about your job, but if your goal is to put food on the table then remind yourself that you are, in fact, working towards a goal. If you’re currently wandering the internet and avoiding dealing with something, recognize that. Figuring out what goal you’re currently working towards isthe first step towards figuring out if it is 1. worthwhile and 2. you are going about it in a positive manner.

7. Do five pushups.

And if you can’t do five pushups, do a 10 jumping jacks. Anything to get your blood ciculating. A little physical activity is one of the best things to shake off a bad attitude. And if thirty seconds leads to continued activity, all the better, but at least get started.

8. Come up with five ways that things could be worse.

Things could always be worse. With 6 billion people in the world, there is always someone that has it worse than you. So when the woe-is-me attitude starts getting you down, thinks of five ways that life could be worse, and then spend another thirty seconds being greatful that none of those scenarios are true.

9. Recognize that it’s hard to have a positive attitude 100% of the time and cut yourself some slack.

Everyone has days where it’s hard to shake off the negativity. If it’s caused by beating yourself about your current state, then give yourself a break. Tell yourself that it’s okay to feel like this and then give yourself a time frame for getting over it. Maybe things will look better after work, or after a good night sleep. Figure it out. Give yourself a deadline.

10. Take the first tiny step towards your goal.

Thirty seconds isn’t a lot of time, but it is enough time to register a domain name. Or brainstorm business ideas. Or order one of the books you’ve been meaning to read. There are a lot of tiny steps that can get you on your way. Figure one out and do it.

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I started this blog with the intention of writing 5 days a week and using it as a way of getting my life in order and cataloging the things I learned along the way. Then life threw me for a loop (several actually) and I couldn’t find the motivation to get started again. There’s always been some excuse.

I spent 10 weeks on bedrest, followed by the delivery of a healthy, happy baby boy. Then we decided to move halfway across the country to be closer to our families, and now we have the stress that accompanies two mortgage payments, two new jobs and two kids to keep straddling the fine line between sanity and insanity.

The thought of sitting down to start writing again was like hitting a brick wall. The emotions ranged from fear (what if it’s not any good anyway?) to apathy (why bother?). These are the things have helped me overcome the inertia.

Tell yourself that you’re doing it for someone else.

Our recent move landed us in Southern California – a place with a high cost of living. We’re currently renting because buying a house is not possible in our current financial situation. I would love to be able to buy a house so that my boys have a permanent house to call a home. So I started asking myself questions like: what if starting to write again could help with the financial situation? What if I this blog did become successful? Maybe we could someday buy a house.

Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen.

Really, what is the worst that can happen? When it comes to writing this blog I might waste a little time. Really, that’s the worst that could happen when it comes to starting up this blog again. And in all honesty, I’m probably waste the time watching tv or with some other time drain.

Focus on the positive.

Maybe this blog will work out. Maybe. There’s no harm, for now, in pursuing this interest and seeing what happens. I enjoy writing; even if this blog never becomes a success story, I’ll have some fun in the meantime. Everyone deserves to have a hobby of some sort. However it turns out, I’m sure it will be a learning experience.

Brainstorm Ideas

Yesterday I sat down and came up with about twenty different ideas for blog topics. Afterwards I was feeling like I had enough quality ideas for the next couple of weeks. Thus, I didn’t feel like I was going to write one article and then be lost again. This has helped allay some of the fears about quitting again so soon.

Lower your standards.

Not every post is going to be perfect. Accept that fact and get started. Most people improve over time. Writing something is better than writing nothing. Raise your standards once you’re in motion.

Sit down with a blank spreadsheet.

Don’t open the browser window. Don’t check your email. Don’t do anything else. Boring, eh? Wouldn’t it be more interesting if you were typing? Write something; write anything. Maybe you’ll have to start over three times (or four like I did), but it’s something. Now you’re moving.

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Few days inspire more self reflection than New Year’s Day. It’s a day filled with wishes for the next year and flashing back on the past year to see what things went well (and those that failed miserably.) It’s a good time to take stock of everything outstanding in our lives and establish what areas could use some work.

This past year was the first year that neither my husband or I switched jobs, and we made it through a year without moving. In many ways it has been a year filled with a sense of stability and a time to catch our breath.

This next year is looking like it might shape up to be a bit more adventurous – a second child will be arriving in the next few weeks, a few career opportunities might play themselves out and then the general chaos that tends to surround us.

Of course, no New Year’s is complete without a list of goals for the year:

-Finish outstanding quilting projects (one for the baby, one for me)

-Pass one professional exam or go back to school

-Establish productive morning routine (after having the baby)

-Declutter

-Go through clothing and get rid of everything out of date and things that I will never wear again

-Post to this blog 5 times a week.

-Get back down to pre-pregnancy weight by June.

There are several other less quantifiable things that I would like to accomplish this year. I would like to work on my parenting skills. I’d like to be more present when I’m working on things and find ways to improve my productivity and focus. I’d like to take up some form of yoga. I’d like to start running on a regular basis.

I think it’s going to be a good year.

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Photo by Basail

Until recently, I would proudly declare, whenever the subject came up, that clutter wasn’t a problem for me. It didn’t bother me. It made no difference to me whether the clothes were put away in the closet or strewn about the floor. I scoffed at people who hired professional organizers and laugh at anyone crazy enough to pay the ridiculous prices for California Closets (admittedly, I still do think their prices are outrageous for a product that is a relatively simple DIY project.)

For a while, my husband and I were paying someone to clean our house. Once a week we would come home to a nearly spotless home. Anything that had been laying around was put away and it did make a huge difference. There was a sense of calm walking into the house and knowing that it was clean and decluttered.

For financial reasons, we decided that we no longer wanted to pay a cleaning service to tidy up after us. That left my husband and I with a long list of cleaning chores every weekend, most of which never were accomplished.

I started getting up early and taking on one task every morning. Vacuuming was the only thing that was reserved for weekends because I didn’t want to wake up our toddler.

In the transition from being unbothered by clutter to a healthy appreciation of a clean and ordered house, I learned a few things along the way:

Don’t refuse to clean something up just because the mess isn’t your “fault”

I started off this way – leaving dirty dishes in the sink because they weren’t mind. However, I found that when I started cleaning up everything in the kitchen, my husband was much more likely to put his dishes away so as to not ruin the clean kitchen. Everyone won.

Start small.

Some mornings all that would get done is a cursory cleanup of our bathroom. Though I might have loftier goals, every little bit makes a difference and leaves less to do later.

Constantly be cleaning and decluttering.

One of my goals was that the kitchen and bathroom counters would be clutter-free. Anytime I walk through the kitchen or bathroom, I put away whatever is sitting out. Now, ideally, things wouldn’t have been left out in the first place, but this goes back to the first point – don’t assign blame, just clean it up.

Be ruthless when getting rid of things you don’t use or need.

I find this one to be especially hard when it comes to clothing. I’m scared to get rid of items that are the wrong size, because you just never know when you’ll put (or lose) a pound or two. Then there are the items with large sentimental values (the Hawaiian shirt I wore to my high school graduation is a prime example, especially considering I’ve sworn never to wear that awful shirt in public again) that tend to survive every attempt at purging.

I find that it’s easiest to get rid of things in one fell swoop. If I try to get rid of a few items at a time I may have too much time to reconsider. But try to find things a new home – Goodwill, craigslist, acquaintances that might find things to be of good use.

Remember the sense of calm that comes with declutter and cleaning.

Really, I never thought that I’d be one to say this, but having things put away really does make a huge difference in your mental state.

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Today I removed the StumbleUpon toolbar from my computer. I shouldn’t even say that I removed it – I simply disabled it. Not that removal of a free firefox add-on is any more permanent than simply disabling it – but still I couldn’t bring myself to uninstall.

It’s the first step in an effort to remove time drains from my life.

I know, it seems like it’s not much of a step, but being that I was probably spending an hour (or more) a day clicking through random sites, it should actually free up quite a bit of time for better pursuits.

I’ve been frightened by the amount of times over the past two hours that I’ve found myself trying to click the stumble button that is no longer there.

Of course, there were some benefits to having the toolbar installed. I found some interesting sites that I might otherwise never have come across. Okay, that’s really the only benefit that comes to mind at the moment. I found that it fed my short attention span. Find something interesting? Bookmark it and come back later, then press the button and move on to something else.

I’m sure that it can be a powerful tool when used correctly or, at least, in moderation. It’s probably a great way to drive traffic to your site if enough of your readers use it and recommend you.

I, however, will be testing my willpower and seeing if I can leave it disabled and not look for a replacement way to mindless surf the web.

This whole thing has me thinking about how much time I could free up if I removed other sources of distraction from my life.

TV

I probably spend three hour a day watching tv. Granted, this is usually background noise to some other pursuit, but I’m sure most of these other pursuits could be finished more efficiently if tv was not involved. I do not need to be watching Simpsons reruns while playing with my son, writing emails or working.

I do think that background noise is justified for some pursuits – mainly when working on craft projects. Of course, once again, I could think of better background noise such as music or perhaps even conversations with friends.

Video Games

Are usually used as a treat after a long week at work, but sometimes (lately) they’ve been getting too much attention. I always think I’ll sit down to play for just a few minutes, but then I find that the hours have gone by and I have nothing to show for it. I can’t really justify this at all, except that everyone needs some down time, but there are many better ways to relax.

Online Poker

Perhaps this is just an extension of video games, being that it’s merely a recreational pursuit for me. But at some point I need to come to terms with the fact that I’m not very good. I doubt that I’d ever feel comfortable wagering large sums of money on this, thus would never really be able to make large profits.

Flickr

It’s so easy to get caught up looking through other people’s photos. Especially when you look at the most interesting photos… but it’s not productive in any manner. I used to be able to justify this when I was a wedding photographer, but now that I’m no longer actively pursuing that, Flickr has become one more drain on my time.

Those are the biggest drains on my time at the moment. I think I’ll whittle away at them one at a time.

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I think that my husband and I have a pretty clear idea of what we want out of life. We both would like to end up on the West Coast (when California house prices are in our price range). He wants to run his own business, which I think will end up being rather time intensive, and I would like to… and this is where I get lost.

Four years out of college, I’ve started a job that’s a career, though I’m not always sure that it’s a perfect fit. Our relationship is good, but we don’t have much time for each other, which sometimes is a point of contention. Our son, while seemingly a happy and well-adjusted kid, could use more attention and less tv.

In other words, there’s room for improvement. So here is the list of questions I try to answer whenever I’m trying to take stock of where I’m at compared to where I’d like to be.

Career

This is often the first thing that comes to mind when trying to assess my current life status. I’m not saying that this is the most important thing, but it is often the easiest to assess.

Am I happy with my job?
Is it a job or is it a career?
Where do I want this to go – where’s the room for advancement?
Do I want to advance?
Am I happy with the time vs the compensation?
Am I making too many sacrifices in other areas of my life to maintain this career?
If this is the right fit, what else would I rather be doing?

Relationships

Am I spending enough time with the people that I care about?
Am I giving my spouse and children the attention that they need and deserve?
Are there any issues that need to be discussed that may have been being avoided?
Do I have enough time for socializing with friends?
Am I remembering to be grateful for the people in my life?

Goals

Are my goals still relevant to me?
Have I made any progress lately on my list of goals?
If I want to make changes to the list, do I have a good reason?
Am I trying to complete too many things at one time – should my progress be more focused?

Like I said, these are just questions that I go through when trying to take stock of where I am at. This is no way a comprehensive list.

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